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You Know You’re A Newbie Blogger When…

I’m jumping on a bandwagon. I’ve read a few of the “You Might Be A…” lists lately and have gotten a chuckle from them. Or some of them anyways. Jollyblogger tells us how to know you’re a Presbyterian, Semper Reformada tells us 10 Reasons Why She’s a Calvinist and Tim Irvin tells us that you may just be a BMAA Baptist if….

So here is my humble attempt. Here is how to know that you’re new to the blogosphere:

  1. You have links on your site to Blogshares and BlogExplosion and think these will actually drive traffic your way.
  2. You are a member of more than three aggregators.
  3. A word count on your blogroll turns up a higher number of words than in every article you’ve written.
  4. You think that Michael Spencer is a Calvinist (sorry Michael!).
  5. You think a link from Boarsheadtavern is necessarily an endorsement of the quality of your writing (I’ll stop now).
  6. You think that the number of comments on a site somehow correlates to the quality of the author’s commentary.
  7. All your comments and trackbacks are from friends you didn’t know you had inviting you to play poker.
  8. You actually care what character from Napoleon Dynamite you most resemble or what vegetable you’d be (if you were a vegetable, which you may just be if you enjoy memes this much).
  9. You think that writing good articles will make you a popular blogger. (I’ll let you in on the secret. The fact is that you have to be either famous, contentious, or Phil Johnson to make people notice you.)
  10. You still believe that just because you can find some readers that agree with you it means you are right.

  • Francis

    Did Francis Prove To Be “The Humble Pope?”

    Francis’ time as pope has come to an end and already many are attempting to define his legacy. Was he a reformer? Was he a progressive? Was he an apostate? Perspectives are wildly varied with some honoring him as the greatest pope of modern times and some dishonoring him as a disgrace to the office.

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    A La Carte (April 23)

    A La Carte: How to begin a conversation with a dechurched friend / Machen was right / The truth of Christ’s resurrection / When grief becomes sin / Nope to the media’s ideal for a new pope / Book sale / and more.

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    A La Carte (April 22)

    A La Carte: Pope Francis / Yes, Jesus was crucified with nails / The mystery of “the call” / Just a little bit / The last of the four / John outran Peter / Kindle deals / and more.

  • Will You Be a Pillar?

    How do we lead in a culture shaped by performance, individualism, and platform? Platforms to Pillars by cultural commentator Mark Sayers offers a biblical alternative to the platform mentality that dominates our society. Drawing from the ancient world, Sayers challenges Christians to become pillars—people who provide strength and support for others, who live with character…

  • The Tallest Trees

    The Winds Blow Hardest Against the Tallest Trees

    Through the weekend had many questions about Christian leaders who fall. And I expressed that just as the winds blow hardest against the tallest trees, so temptations may press hardest against the leaders who rise the highest. Just as floods press against shallow roots, so seductive desires rise up against those whose fall would bring…

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    A La Carte (April 21)

    A La Carte: Toxic servant leadership / Taking our stress to the Lord / The problem with habits / Is it wrong for Christians to choose cremation? / Why does your church meet in a house? / Big book and Kindle deals / and more.