Skip to content ↓

When Should You Stop Praying?

When Should You Stop Praying

Sir Walter Raleigh filled many roles and wore many hats over the course of his life, among them politician, soldier, and writer. But he is best known to history as an explorer. In 1584, Queen Elizabeth granted him a charter to explore, colonize, and rule any “remote, heathen and barbarous lands, countries and territories, not actually possessed of any Christian Prince or inhabited by Christian People.” In return, he was expected to extend the reach and riches of the crown. The first region he claimed, he named “Virginia” in honor of Elizabeth, the virgin queen.

Over the course of his first illustrious and then ignominious career, he repeatedly came before the queen to ask for funds, favors, appointments, and opportunities, for all of this had to flow through the hands of the monarch. It all required her assent and her largesse. Many observed that the more she gave, the more he asked, and the greater her generosity, the greater his importunity.

It seemed inevitable that over time she would become weary of his constant requests and escalating entreaties. Sure enough, one day in exasperation she asked when he would finally stop being a beggar. His reply was simple: “When you stop giving.” Or more literally, “When, madam, you cease to be a benefactress.”(1)

What a wonderful illustration of our relationship to God! We need to express some caution, of course, when drawing a comparison between the perfect God and an impatient queen. But then again, we need to be cautious when reading Luke 18 and drawing a comparison between the perfect God and an unjust judge. The purpose of the parable is to conclude “If even an unjust judge will eventually grant a good petition, how much more a perfect God?” And the purpose of the comparison to Queen Elizabeth is to conclude “If we should stop making petitions of an exasperated queen only when she ceases to give, how much more the God who never grows impatient?”

We serve a God who commands us to bring our petitions before him. He commands us to ask for those things we need and even those things we long for. He commands us to pray without timidity, to pray without ceasing, and to pray without losing hope. But we are also to pray with patience and perseverance, trusting that God knows far better than we do what we actually need and when it would be best for us to have it. He knows far better than we do what he may need to accomplish within us so we can receive his gifts rightly instead of idolatrously. He rewards us for our patience, honors us for our perseverance, and sanctifies us through our endurance.

“I will stop asking only when you stop giving. I will stop praying only when you make it clear that you no longer answer prayer.”

God will never become exasperated with us and never snap at us. But if we ever lose our confidence and lose our hope, we would do well to echo the old explorer. “I will stop asking only when you stop giving. I will stop praying only when you make it clear that you no longer answer prayer.”

This means that the time for you to quit lifting your petitions is the time when God tells you that he will no longer listen. The day to give up praying is the day when God tells you that he has closed his ears and become deaf to your voice. The moment to stop pleading is the moment when God speaks to assure you that his heart is now hardened and his hand, once opened to supply your needs, is now closed to cut them off. Until that day—a day that will never come—continue to pray, trusting that God continues to listen and to provide.

Inspired in part by De Witt Talmage


  • Building Churches

    Building Churches Out of Other Churches

    What is your church really made of? Or perhaps better said, who is your church really made of? This is something we all do well to ponder from time to time, for there are good ways and bad ways, better ways and worse ways to fill a church.

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (February 19)

    A La Carte: Don’t let your fears hold back your children / Denominations in an age of online over-exposure / Full-circle prayers / Secret things and revealed things / Building habits / John Mark Comer’s view of God / and more.

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (February 18)

    A La Carte: Very cool birds / The way to combat anxiety / Do not hinder yourself / The sacred mundane / Thriving in women’s ministry leadership / Kindle deals / and more.

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (February 17)

    A La Carte: Wisdom for online dating / Anything can be an idol / The great danger / Unconfessed sin / Sins we love to ignore / Kindle deals / and more.

  • Quality Time

    Quality Time

    People of all faiths pray. Some pray to gods, some to ancestors, some to nature, and some to the universe, but all speak out words, all utter desires, all hope to be heard. But Christians pray differently and Christians pray confidently, for we pray to a Father. We alone “have received the Spirit of adoption…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    Weekend A La Carte (February 15)

    A La Carte: Resisting temptation / Strange familiarity / The reluctant polemicist / A new Getty hymn / The power of one bitter thought / Better than a holy year / and more.