Skip to content ↓

Talk: Secrets in Marriage

Articles Collection cover image

Talk!Admiral Lord Nelson once said, “Every sailor is a bachelor when beyond Gibraltar.” They are profound words and ones well worth thinking about, and especially so in our modern context. I’ve written in the past about issues related to accountability and anonymity. Lately, though, I’ve been thinking a bit about these issues in a way strikes a little closer to home.

I recently had a discussion with a friend who was asking if I think husbands and wives should keep secrets from each other or if they should even have private realms to their lives. This is a broad topic, but to narrow it down, we discussed just the issue of email and asked, “Should husbands and wives have full access to each other’s email accounts?” Obviously this might not apply to pastors or counselors or spymasters who may have a special need for privacy. But for the rest of us, I think it is a question worth asking and I’d love to get your feedback.

Should husbands and wives offer each other free and open access to their email accounts? Or should there be an implicit level of trust that makes such a measure unnecessary or perhaps even just plain wrong? Let’s talk!

Incidentally, this is the first of what I hope will be many opportunities to discuss topics in a more interactive way.


  • Finn

    I’m a Grandfather!

    Yesterday Abby and Nathan welcomed their first child into the world: Finnegan Safir Nicholas Elfarrah. Because they live just minutes away, Aileen and I were able to be there shortly after his birth to rejoice with them and to meet our first grandchild. We are thrilled beyond measure. And he is cute beyond belief. They…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (November 20)

    A La Carte: Pray till you pray / Do children need to consent to puberty? / Pleading for Sodom / A thought experiment / 10 mistakes when reading the Bible / Kindle deals / and more.

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (November 19)

    A La Carte: Good night, my son / The longing for justice following sexual assault / Daughter of encouragement / Mistakes I made as a theological student / The dangers of disordered love / Kindle deals / and more.

  • What Grieves the Heart of God

    What Grieves the Heart of God?

    What pleases God? What delights his heart? And what displeases God? What grieves his heart? If asked, I think most of us would assume that if we ever grieve the heart of God it will be through denying the gospel or committing a grave moral scandal. Or if we do so as a local church,…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (November 18)

    A La Carte: When God does not need our service / How to forgive and move on / A devotional for depression / Can a speeding ticket change your heart? / Is it I, Lord? / Kindle deals / and more.