There’s a lot of porn in the world. When I first began to write the articles that would become Sexual Detox, this sin was still lurking in the shadows. Few people knew just how deep and deadly it was. Nearly a decade later, we get it. We know now that nearly every boy and a great many girls will be exposed to it, struggle with it, and even become addicted to it. So every now and again I like to return to the topic, hoping to offer hope. Today I find myself considering porn’s ugly lies.
It’s Not That Big a Deal
One of the foremost lies you may be tempted to believe when it comes to porn is this: It’s not that big a deal. If everyone else is doing it, it can’t be too serious a sin, right?
The Bible begs to differ. Writing on behalf of God, Paul says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality. … For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.” The Christian life is inseparable from sexual purity. He goes on to say something alarming: “Whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” When you look at porn, you are actively sinning against the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. He is telling you not to sin and you are defying him.
As a Christian, you have professed faith in Christ and have the Holy Spirit living within. This Spirit is telling you not to sin, assuring you he can help you do what is right. And still you sin. This is a very serious matter. Any time you choose to sin in this way, you are sinning against the active presence of God. It’s a big deal.
Porn Only Affects Me Anyways
The second lie is that my porn only affects me anyway. Porn wants you to believe this is your business and no one else’s. Even if it’s harmful, it’s harmful only to you. If you are tempted to believe this lie, you need to take some time to count the cost of pornography.
There is a cost to your soul. If you are consumed with pornography and unwilling to put this sin to death, you have every reason to be concerned with the state of your soul. If you have no sorrow for sin, if you have no real desire for victory, if time and again you recklessly choose your sin over your Savior, you need to ask yourself this: Do I love pornography enough to go to hell for it? For the sake of your soul, stop!
There is a cost to your neighbor. Jesus tells you to love your neighbor as yourself. Those people on the screen are your neighbors, other people created in the image of God for the glory of God. Are you loving them as you watch them do what they do? Of course not! You have become a willing participant in sexual sin and violence as you allow that actor on the screen to suffer for your pleasure. For the sake of your neighbor, stop looking at pornography.
There is a cost to your church. We have so many men who ought to be pastors, who ought to be serving as elders, but they infantilize themselves with this love of porn. We have so many women who ought to be taking positions of leadership in women’s ministry, but they can’t and won’t because they have disqualified themselves by their lust. For the sake of your church, stop!
There is a cost to your family. Men are tearing apart their families for the sake of illicit pleasures; women are shunning the attention of their husbands in order to read or watch what is forbidden. Children are being exposed to pornography through the trails their parents leave behind. Fathers are inviting Satan into the home by their commitment to what God forbids and what Satan loves. For the sake of your family, stop looking at pornography.
There is a cost to your Savior. Of course this is the highest cost of all. If you are a Christian, you acknowledge in your profession of faith that the cost of forgiveness was nothing less than the death of God’s beloved Son. Jesus suffered and died for your sin. How can you, as a Christian, then toy with your sin and take it lightly? How can you cling to it? For God’s sake, stop looking at pornography.
This is My Secret
Porn’s third lie is that it’s a secret sin. You may be tempted to believe that what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is no one’s concern but your own. One of porn’s favorite lies is that this is your secret and that you are the only one who will ever know about it.
But haven’t you learned that your sin has a way of finding you out? Sin is devious that way. Sin likes to convince you that you are in charge of the situation, that you have control, that you can sin only this much and then stop, that you can sin only this many times and then just cut it off. But that is simply not the nature of sin. I find it helpful to personify sin, to see sin as an evil character who wants to destroy your body, soul, and mind, to wreck your relationships and reputation. Sin wants to destroy everything about you. It wants to dangle a temptation, to see you bite into it, and then to utterly wreck you.
Your sin will find you out. Sin wants to draw you in, make you safe and comfortable, then chew you up and spit you out. Don’t you see that? Sin wants you to think it is secret and harmless, but eventually someone will walk in on you, someone will discover your search history, someone will find your credit card statement. Sin wants to expose you, to embarrass you, to use your fall to pour contempt on the gospel.
This Sin Will Satisfy
The next lie is that this sin will satisfy. You know how it feels when you convince yourself you just need to sin, that you can’t possibly be content unless you give in, that you can’t possibly avoid sin and remain satisfied. The only way you can be happy right now, the only way you can be content, the only way you can sleep tonight, is if you sin.
Sin always promises that it will satisfy, but always fails to deliver for more than a moment. In the end, sin always over-promises and underwhelms. Sin, and especially sexual sin, always promises more than it can deliver. When you act on your sin you get that momentary satisfaction, but it’s not a true soul satisfaction. God promises that true joy and true delight is found in obedience, not disobedience. He longs to prove that to you. But he can only prove it if you allow him to. You’ll only know the blessings of obedience if you obey. You can’t know all the blessings God stores up for those who obey him if you give in to your sin every day.
Sin promises satisfaction and delivers death. God promises satisfaction and delivers far more than we can ask or even imagine. Take God at his word!
I Am Beyond Hope
The fifth lie of porn is this: You are beyond hope. Porn’s greatest lie may be that it owns you, that you are beyond redemption, that you are beyond hope. Your heart and mind may be whispering that you’ve sinned too many times, that you’ve established patterns too deep to change.
This is complete nonsense, a devilish lie, an utter denial of the gospel. Jesus says, “You are not your own; you were bought with a price.” He bought you with his own blood and he owns you. Porn doesn’t own you, Jesus does. Jesus says, “Behold, I am making all things new.” That’s not just the plants and the planets and the world around us. It begins with you. He is remaking you, destroying the sin within you and calling you to come alive to holiness and righteousness. The power of Jesus is dramatically, exponentially greater than the power of pornography.
You are not beyond hope. There is no sin stronger than the blood of Jesus. There is no sin you have committed so many times that you have to commit it again. There is no sin that Jesus cannot and will not forgive. So do not give in to the despair. Do not allow yourself to think you are beyond hope and beyond redemption. You have the greatest hope in the world—the hope of the gospel.
If you are trusting in Christ, if you are taking hold of the promises of God, if you are believing the gospel, you can never look at porn again. It will be God’s absolute delight to prove this to you.
