I’ve heard it said that there are three kinds of culture in the world, each defined by its predominant worldview. There are cultures of shame, cultures of fear, and cultures of guilt, and each of them has their own way of pressuring people to behave or to conform to society. In a shame culture your standing before other people depends on your level of shame or honor. It’s like there is an imaginary scale that has shame on one side and honor on the other and the things you do, the things you say, and the ways you behave can tip the scale in one direction or the other. If you have been shamed, the way to recover your reputation is to do something that will restore your honor. A couple of years ago we saw an example of this in Ontario when a Muslim father took action to restore his honor. His daughters had been rebelling against him by drifting from Islam and embracing Western values. This shamed him in the eyes of his community and he responded by murdering all three of his girls in what is known as an honor killing. He deemed this act necessary to restore his honor. And, indeed, within his own community it did. In a fear culture your standing depends on your level of fear or power. These cultures are usually tribal and animistic and they pressure you with the fear of consequences meted out by supernatural spirits. The way to overcome fear is to gain power—power … Continue reading Shame, Fear, Guilt