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Joel Osteen or Fortune Cookie?

Joel Osteen or Fortune Cookie

The other day I ate some rather extraordinary Thai food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “A brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat Thai is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last bowl of curry (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.” And then it struck me–there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of course). And now, to prove it, I will give you these twelve quotes. You tell me which are from the fortune cookies and which are from Joel Osteen.

November 2015 Update: This is now “quizzified” and updated with recent Osteen quotes. All of his quotes were posted to his Twitter feed within the past 2 weeks.

Note: Many, many fortune cookies were harmed in the preparation of this quiz.

Thanks for playing!


  • Beauty

    The Greatest Beauty I’ve Ever Seen

    One of the great privileges of my life has been the opportunity to travel far and wide. While most of my travel has been related to either speaking at conferences or filming documentaries, my hosts have often invited me to deviate from the straightest course to explore and take in the area’s natural beauty. It’s…

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    Must You Read at Least One Spurgeon Biography?

    I am not aware of a verse in the Bible that says every Christian must read at least one biography of Charles Spurgeon. Or every Calvinist, at least. But I also wouldn’t be completely shocked if it’s there somewhere and I’ve just missed it. And that’s because his life and ministry were powerfully unique in…

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    A La Carte: What “love your enemies” does not mean / John Piper on reading providence / Talking to your Roman Catholic friends / What happens at prayer meeting? / Against executive pastors / Kindle deals / and more.

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    The Christian Standard Commentary will encourage and equip God’s people to understand the text and live according to Scripture for Christ’s glory. The unique ancient-modern approach to the biblical text found in the CSC is a valuable resource for building up Christ’s church while encouraging God’s people to fulfill the Great Commission. As a commentary…

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    Why I Haven’t Written A Whole Lot about My Grandson

    It has been two months since little Finnegan was born—two months since I became a grandfather for the first time. It only just occurred to me that I have said very little about this new reality, this new stage of life, this new member of our family.